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 Bicep-bulging, muscle-flexing, macho mayhem with Johnny Bravo, who believes he can sweet-talk and karate chop his way out of trouble.
He’s the epitome of studliness. A gift from the gods to the women of earth. A paragon of physical perfection – at least that’s what Johnny Bravo wants you to think!
The way his blonde-haired, buff chested guy sees it, he’s a mix of Brad Pitt, Elvis Presley and Hercules, only a lot cooler! Problem is, it just ain’t so. If he could see past his own pretty face, he might realise that women are not that thrilled with him. Never-the-less, his mama and his precocious neighbour, Little Suzy are a big part of his life. Johnny’s hilarious one-track, never-ending obsession (and perpetual failure) with women, his unflagging belief in his own superiority and his attitude-packed personality all add up to a surprisingly loveable guy you can’t help but root for! Still, you might wanna hide your daughters.
Johnny Bravo is a half-hour series that follows the adventures of a biceps-bulging, karate-chopping free spirit who believes he is a gift from God to the women of the earth. Johnny loves his mama, tolerates his adoring next door neighbour Suzy, and worships himself all at the same time.
Johnny Bravo talks like Elvis and his pick-up lines are about as old, but he has the persistence of “Pepe Le Pew” when it comes to chasing down girls. He moves quickly, like the “Tasmanian Devil” with style (and a great haircut), randomly striking poses that fall somewhere between Mr. Universe and a vogueing Madonna. Unfortunately, no matter what he does or where he finds himself, Johnny generally winds up his own worst enemy.
Johnny bolsters his enormous ego with a limitless exuberance that cries out for people’s unbridled admiration. But Johnny’s narcissistic quest for attention motivates him to do some pretty ridiculous things, especially when it comes to his Mama. Johnny will go to any lengths to oblige his mother, Bunny Bravo, if he thinks she needs his help. Johnny’s tremendous sense of loyalty to his mother is equaled only to his misguided sense of chivalry toward women. In each of
Johnny’s adventures, it becomes more and more evident that
he is neither the perfect son nor the ultimate knight in shining
armour.
The inspiration for Johnny’s name from an episode of the classic television series, The Brady Bunch. In the episode, entitled “Adios, Johnny Bravo,” Greg Brady (Barry Williams) is forced to take the name Johnny Bravo in order to sign a record contract. Other than sharing the same name, there are few other similarities between Greg Brady’s alterego and the animated version of Johnny Bravo.
Mama, or Bunny Bravo, is an eccentric woman with infinite energy and enthusiasm. On the occasions she decides to focus her attention on improving her son, there’s no escape for Johnny. Whether Mama is inclined to help Johnny find the right woman, change the way he dresses or adjust the manner in which he treats women, it is always a disaster waiting to happen. Mama is an irresistible force and Johnny is an immovable object. Johnny’s need to be the best at everything, including best son, makes him incapable of denying Mama’s whims. Whatever Mama wants, Mama gets, regardless of whether Johnny can provide it or not.
Johnny’s next door neighbour, eight-year-old Little Suzy, is all impulse and no thought, making her the only person in Johnny’s universe who is at his emotional and intellectual level. Whether Johnny likes it or not, Little Suzy has chosen him to be her playmate. With her big eyes, innocent voice and precocious manner, she is always popping up at the worst times. Her arrival adds another level of difficulty to whatever Johnny is attempting to do, be it climb a mountain or pick up women. Unfortunately for Johnny, when Little Suzy is around, the whole world can see his many imperfections.
· Johnny thinks his hands are registered as lethal weapons.
· He owns an authentic pinecone jumper.
· Johnny’s hero is the statue of David. Check the pecs!
· To Johnny, having a feminine side means dressing up in drag!
· He holds the world’s speed hair combing record.
· His favourite clothing is his Jimmy Dean black T-shirt.
· Johnny takes his name from an episode of The Brady Bunch where character Greg, took up the name to get a recording contract.
· Johnny sleeps wearing his sunglasses.
I love a bus stop – because when the bus goes past I can see my perfect reflection looking back at me from the window. Bus stops are also great places to meet chicks. Why just the other day I said to a HOT lookin little mamma “Do you go all the way to my stop”? I could tell she dug me, but she must have slipped and accidently slapped me real hard. Aren’t chicks funny?
When you are a hot lookin love machine superstar like for example ……..me, the street can be a pretty dangerous place. I mean, mobs of chicks would just love to chase me, catch me and kiss me again and again….ooohhh Mamma. So little buddies if you follow all my special advice and become supremely studley like Johnny B, you better get yourself some special disguise shades like these. With these little puppies on – no chick has ever recognised me. Boy if they only knew huh?
All super-studley hunks of heaven like me have a special hang-out. The Fonz had Arnolds, Leonardo DiCaprio hangs out at The Viper Club, Robert Downey Jnr has San Quentin Penitentiary…..(better forget about him) and I have Pops Moon Palace. It’s a special place where I can let my hair down and be myself – although I never let my hair down. If you wanna be super cool you need a place where the shopkeeper knows what you mean when you say – “the regular”! That way no-one else needs to know you just ordered a pink milkshake with coloured sprinkles – some people don’t understand how cool that really is.
Your Living room is a good place to practice being cool. I like to stand in my Living Room and practice my best lines. “Hey baby, stand a little closer and some of these good looks might rub off on you”, or “Hey Mamma, wanna take a drive with me in my hot-rod of love? I’ll let you pedal”. It’s important to really practice these lines in particular. Sometimes I think even I need to work on them a little harder.
Listen up little dudes. Chicks love it when a man is handy in the kitchen, so let Johnny Bravo give you the tour. That big rectangly lookin thing is called a stove – and although I’m not allowed to use it –I know it’s just like me – Hot! That big rectangly lookin thing you can’t see is called a refrigerator, and that’s where we grow milk. I like to use milk in a special dish I like to prepare for that special lady in my life. I call it…….cereal, and Mama just loves it.
Yesir little buddies, This is the room that all the worlds supermodels would like to see – and here you are in the inner sanctum. Look and learn little buddies – this place is like the Mayo Clinic of cool – except I don’t have any mayo. You have your basic tools of super-studliness here. Weights to tone my hunky bod, my Guitar to tune my sensitive side, Animal print, to remind me that I am king of the jungle! and most important, Motorbike handles to remind me to watch where I am going next time– The picture of Farrah Fawcett is not essential – but I strongly recommend it.
Here is an important tip for my little mammas and buddies of both sexes….ooooh yeah, sexes! When you are walking along the street and concentrating on lookin cool! it’s easy to accidentally walk into the wrong house. ! It used to happen to me a lot and Man! if you live next door to a couple of elderly sunworshippers it can be embarrassing– To avoid this, I painted Mammas house hot pink and purple! It’s the only one like it in our street, so it’s hard to miss, and mamma passed out with excitement when she first saw it!
There is a very important message I need to pass on to my little buddies about running. NEVER run anywhere unless you are sure your hair has been heavily waxed into place. Runner’s hair is not cool. I try not to run to much, but I do like to play this game with a lot of my many many chick fans. I run, and they try and catch me, and slap and punch and kick me and spray mace in my eyes and shoot me with electric phaser guns. Aren’t chicks funny when they are full of love?
Every cool guy or girl on the planet has a strut. This is the way you walk that says – lookout ! Here comes the world’s most studly guy! Well you’re walk won’t say that unless you are me…..then I get real confused. Whatever….. The best way to develop your own special walk is from TV. Watch your favourite shows, and combine the walks of the stars. You could do the Will Smith Wander combined with the Back Street Boy shuffle. I call my walk – the Scooby Doo meets little mermaid meander! Actually……don’t print that.
Oh little Mamas and papas…..whatever….I can’t tell you how important good shades are to your coolness. Look at all the super-super-superstars like….. me, men in black, the terminator, me, scooby doo….where would these guys be without shades? The trick with shades, is never take them off. As soon as the shades come off a star the magic is gone. THAT my little buddies is why I NEVER take my shades off. And THAT is why mamma won’t let me go out at night….. You need to make these sacrifices if you are going to be cool like Johnny Bravo.
Do the monkey with me! Or don’t dance. Any questions?
Martial Arts are just another one of my secrets of cool. The way that I shaped my body and mind to their super studly potential. My karate & Kung Foo master Hoo Dun Wong taught me the closely guarded secrets of the arts that have been passed only from Master to pupil for thousands of years. I then told Pops and Karl and Little Suzie and poor old Hoo was cast out by his people. Still, you live and learn.
Remember little dudes & dudets; Grooming and physical fitness is the road to cool. I don’t look at training as work – for me it’s more like a public service. It’s like polishing the Statue of Liberty for all womankind to gaze upon. Besides, lots of HOT LOOKIN MAMMAS go to my gym.
I didn’t have to get this hairstyle anywhere man – It’s always been stuck to my head. It’s like a natural phenomenon.
I grew up in the happiest house man – it had me in it, my TV oh and Mama of course. I guess being born was the biggest influence on me. Mama says I just popped out and started combing my hair – I guess you would call that the beauty of nature.
I think it is great to encourage your readers to try to be cool like Johnny Bravo – but you don’t want to give their hopes up – No-one is as cool as me. (flex).
Now that’s a hard one……I don’t rightly know if it’s my perfect bod (flex, stretch, flex again) or my perfect hair. Man I’m pretty. You better just put down “Johnny Bravo” and not get too specific. Man I’m the hottest star since Krypton exploded!
Remember little dudes & dudets; Grooming and physical fitness is the road to cool. I don’t look at training as work – for me it’s more like a public service. It’s like polishing the Statue of Liberty for all womankind to gaze upon. Besides, lots of hot lookin mammas go to my gym.
Are you kidding – I am a blackbelt in every martial art except Sumo Wrestling – Besides - By the third time I did grade four I was the tallest kid in the whole school.
I once had a hair out of place – man I hid in the house for a week after that. Johnny Bravo never had a bad phase. I’ve had these clothes on for as long as I can remember. They know every curve on my perfect bod. Mama says she should wash them one day, but I can't see why.
I like burgers from Pops moon palace – or if I’m feelin’ all exotic and worldly I have french fries.
Man I don’t have no teddy bear – Fluffy…I mean that bear in my room belongs to that pesky neighbour girl.
I like the bit above my shoes and below my hat – except I would never wear a hat. Man I’m pretty. |
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